Sometimes anger is healthy. It helps you realize what you want and encourages you to improve, but it causes problems if it gets out of hand. Anger issues make you ill and ruin relationships. Keeping your temper under control helps you stay calm, well, and happy.
What is anger?
You know what anger is, although perhaps on a surface level. Look beneath your rage; there’s a reason it exists. Extreme stress built over long periods gives people short fuses. They find dealing with challenges hard because they are already anxious. Hence, anger and depression often go together.
A hot temper also stems from a lack of understanding about how to handle emotions. People often learn to cope with their feelings when young. However, some don’t get the opportunity.
Calming your mind
You can learn to feel calm. Doing so will help you deal with challenges, whether your hot-headedness comes from stress or lack of know-how. Anger begins with thoughts. Something you dislike happens, and you tell yourself a story in your head about how it’s wrong.
The moment the story begins, you need to pause. Notice your heart races and chest feels tight.
These signs of rising anger signal it’s time to change tack. Next, take charge of how the tale unravels. Controlling your interpretation of events will help you govern your emotional state.
For example, before you learn to pause and influence your emotions, if you imagine someone doesn’t listen to what you say, you might feel overlooked. The story in your head may bring you to conclude that he or she is mistreating you. Your story might be something like this
- “She never listens to me. She doesn’t think I’m important or have anything significant to say. She treats me badly because she doesn’t care. Most people walk over me like she does. She must give me the respect I deserve!”
If you were to pause, rather than allow the distressing tale to evolve, you might come to a more valuable and realistic conclusion.
- “She didn’t hear, or maybe didn’t understand what i said. Perhaps she is preoccupied, or i didn’t speak loudly enough.”
When you pause, explore helpful interpretations of events rather than worst-case scenarios. No doubt, you often come to hasty, adverse conclusions. Teach yourself the habit of looking for explanations that don’t cause ill feelings.
You can develop a peaceful mind. If you are calm when challenges arise, you will cope better. Mindfulness teaches people to focus, so their thoughts don’t tumble out of control.
You can be mindful whatever you’re doing. When you walk, for instance, you can be aware of the process of walking, focusing on every step. Notice what your body feels like as you move. Let unwanted thoughts pass without concentrating on them. When they pop up, move your attention back to what it’s like to walk.
Practicing mindfulness will help you relax and release tension. Also, you will leam to focus on thoughts you want and let others fade.
Nature is soothing for the soul, while human-made chaos creates excitement and unease. Spend time in the countryside or another natural environment. Let the tranquil surroundings seep in; soak them up with full consideration. Once again, when unwanted thoughts come, shift your attention. Notice the sights, sounds, and scents around you.
Meditation is an additional way to learn how to be calm. Start with a few minutes a day, focusing on the action of breathing.